Here I am now sitting up at a friend's house. The other two guys are fast asleep. I haven't slept at all, and I've been watching the sun come up. I'm cold, uncomfortably cold. I don't know if I've ever been happier.
"This is not about how I feel right now or if I'm thinking right or my mindset Father, this is about how amazing it is for You to be here with me right now."
How easily lately I lose focus. I put it on me and my efforts so often. I'm doing it right now. Father, save me from this body of death!!! How I long to be freed from my mind's weakness and be able to see God in every moment as I should.
You WILL save me, You WILL restore me, You WILL regerate me completely. God I believe, please help me believe. Trust is not a trademark of mine.
Here I am, loving the uncomfortable cold and the lack of sleep. I'm finding so much joy in this. It's freeing to know I'm not limited to my human comfort zones. To rejoice in cold and tiredness is wonderful, because I know that only through this will God make me into something than I was before. It may be nothing really bad now, but I can use all as a chance for worship. There is something to learn in every uncomfortable circumstance.
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was fillled with laughter,
and our tongues with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"the Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy;
bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalm 126
~sojourner
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