I will be a radical all of my days for the rest of my life. I will let God take me to whatever extreme He may, taking no regard for myself, but completely trusting Him in all things as capable of supplying, sustaining, and fulfilling me. I am no longer my own, nor is anything on this world mine, but it is all surrendered without restraint to Jehovah to do with as He wills. I am expecting God to make me so that this world and even much of the church sees me as a fool, obsessed with another world, for I am an alien and a stranger here, and I will let God fully make me feel that way, teaching me the meaning of Sojourner. I will not back down in my opposition of sin, flesh, and anything else that would stand in the way of the rule of Jesus Christ in my life, in other's lives, and in the church. Here I lay down all I have and all of me, so that I may always be able to look back and say with Paul,
"Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. for His sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as refuse, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness from God of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith - that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and may share His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection form the dead."
My God, let me ask all this of You and resolve this before You in perfect peace, knowing this is what You have called me to, and that You will fulfill in me Your plans for me. I glory in Your glory, I love You through Your love, I find my joy in Your joy, I seize Your strength instead of mine, and I forfeit my life that the eternal life of Christ will become my life and my entire existence. I live to know nothing but Christ and Him crucified. I trust in Your faithfulness and power, putting myself fully at Your mercy and depending on Your promises, exalting Your blessed word over my life. Take all of me, I am only alive when I am fully Yours. My delight is in You.
For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory, forever.
Amen.
Brothers and sisters, those I love above all else on this world, hold me to this.
~sojourner
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Thursday, February 15, 2007
a word on faith
And He brought him[Abram] outside and said, "Look toward heaven, and number the stars, if you are able to number them." Then He said to him, "So shall your offspring be." And he believed the Lord, and He counted it to him as righteousness.
~Genesis 15:5-6
"If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all."
~Isaiah 7:9b
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
~Matthew 6:30
And Peter answered Him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"
~Matthew 14:28-31
"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
~Matthew 17:20b
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on the cusion. And they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And He awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?"
~Mark 4:37-40
While He was still speaking, there came from the ruler's house some who said, "Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?" But ignoring what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe."
~Mark 5:35-36
And behold, a man from the crowd cried out, "Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child. And behold, a spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out. It convulses him so that he foams at the mouth; and shatters him, and will hardly leave him. And I begged your disciples to cast it out, but they could not." Jesus answered, "O faithless and twisted generatio, how long am I to be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here." While he was coming, the demon threw him on the ground and convulsed him. But Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit and healed the boy, and gave him back to his father. And all were astonished at the majesty of God.
~Luke 9:38-43
The apostlse said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you."
~Luke 17:5-6
"No distrust made him [Abraham] waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promisded. That is why his faith was 'counted to him as righteousness.'"
~Romans 4:20-22
"For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold out original confidence firm to the end. As it is said, 'Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion[in the wilderness].' For who were those who heard and yet rebelled? Was it not all those who left Egypt led by Moses? And with whom was He provoked for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness? And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who are disobedient? So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief."
~Hebrews 3:14-19
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
~Hebrews 11:1
"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."
~Hebrews 11:6
In three of the gospel passages I've quoted, the Lord was called "Teacher." My tendency in the past is to want God to just fix things in me. Sometimes He does. But often He wants to be our Teacher, because our joy should be the revealing of God's glory, and as a Teacher He reveals things to us. My most recent lesson has been on faith.
Today, faith has been diluted. It is only the belief in a invisible God. That is not biblical.
As long as we believe God to be invisible, He will remain invisible to us. Belief that He exists is important, but we must also believe that "He rewards those who seek Him." I have a tragic tendency, and since we all share in the flesh, I'm supposing many of you do too, to think that God will sometimes reward me for seeking Him, that I can't always expect something of God. He holds out to us amazing gifts, promising them if we'll come to Him, and we come to Him shoving the gifts aside, and then standing there miserable wondering why we're not getting anything. O we of little faith!
"He rewards those who seek Him!" That is a promise! If we were to truly believe that, He would always reward us! The church today is so rooted in fake humility and being 'busy' for the Lord that we have forgotten the reason we were saved for in the beginning! Christ did not save us so we could work for Him. He doesn't have an employment problem. He died on the Cross to forgive us, so that the Spirit of Almighty God, the fullness of God, could dwell in our hearts and bring us into a new realm of fellowship with our heavenly Father! How many clergy today actually have that kind of fellowship? We need to renovate our definition of faith.
If we are to take scripture as God's word, to take it as He says as a promise then we must agree on these things:
~Genesis 15:5-6
"If you are not firm in faith, you will not be firm at all."
~Isaiah 7:9b
"But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
~Matthew 6:30
And Peter answered Him, "Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water." He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him, saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt?"
~Matthew 14:28-31
"For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you."
~Matthew 17:20b
And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on the cusion. And they woke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?" And He awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, "Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?"
~Mark 4:37-40
While He was still speaking, there came from the ruler's house some who said, "Your daughter is dead. Why trouble the Teacher any further?" But ignoring what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe."
~Mark 5:35-36
And behold, a man from the crowd cried out, "Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child. And behold, a spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out. It convulses him so that he foams at the mouth; and shatters him, and will hardly leave him. And I begged your disciples to cast it out, but they could not." Jesus answered, "O faithless and twisted generatio, how long am I to be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here." While he was coming, the demon threw him on the ground and convulsed him. But Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit and healed the boy, and gave him back to his father. And all were astonished at the majesty of God.
~Luke 9:38-43
The apostlse said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!" And the Lord said, "If you had faith like a grain of mustard seed, you could say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it would obey you."
~Luke 17:5-6
"No distrust made him [Abraham] waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what He had promisded. That is why his faith was 'counted to him as righteousness.'"
~Romans 4:20-22
"For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold out original confidence firm to the end. As it is said, 'Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion[in the wilderness].' For who were those who heard and yet rebelled? Was it not all those who left Egypt led by Moses? And with whom was He provoked for forty years? Was it not with those who sinned, whose bodies fell in the wilderness? And to whom did He swear that they would not enter His rest, but to those who are disobedient? So we see that they were unable to enter because of unbelief."
~Hebrews 3:14-19
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
~Hebrews 11:1
"And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him."
~Hebrews 11:6
In three of the gospel passages I've quoted, the Lord was called "Teacher." My tendency in the past is to want God to just fix things in me. Sometimes He does. But often He wants to be our Teacher, because our joy should be the revealing of God's glory, and as a Teacher He reveals things to us. My most recent lesson has been on faith.
Today, faith has been diluted. It is only the belief in a invisible God. That is not biblical.
As long as we believe God to be invisible, He will remain invisible to us. Belief that He exists is important, but we must also believe that "He rewards those who seek Him." I have a tragic tendency, and since we all share in the flesh, I'm supposing many of you do too, to think that God will sometimes reward me for seeking Him, that I can't always expect something of God. He holds out to us amazing gifts, promising them if we'll come to Him, and we come to Him shoving the gifts aside, and then standing there miserable wondering why we're not getting anything. O we of little faith!
"He rewards those who seek Him!" That is a promise! If we were to truly believe that, He would always reward us! The church today is so rooted in fake humility and being 'busy' for the Lord that we have forgotten the reason we were saved for in the beginning! Christ did not save us so we could work for Him. He doesn't have an employment problem. He died on the Cross to forgive us, so that the Spirit of Almighty God, the fullness of God, could dwell in our hearts and bring us into a new realm of fellowship with our heavenly Father! How many clergy today actually have that kind of fellowship? We need to renovate our definition of faith.
If we are to take scripture as God's word, to take it as He says as a promise then we must agree on these things:
- faith, trusting God to fulfill His promises, leads to righteousness before God
- faith is how we stand firm
- faith in God's provision will lead to peace about our needs
- faith will enable us to fulfill all God asks of us
- faith can make nothing impossible for us
- faith can calm any storm
- faith can heal lives, even restore the dead, including the spiritually dead
- faith can defeat demons (notice in this passage the demon has more faith in Christ then we do)
- faith in God, no matter how small, will remove any obstacle
- faith will make us grow strong
- faith will bring us to the promised land, God's full blessing
- faith will give us full assurance of the promises that we can't yet see
- faith allows us to draw near to God
These are not "if-fy" statements. God didn't add sometimes to the ends of any of these. We ask God why He deprives us of things, while often we are depriving ourselves of things because we don't believe God will actually give them to us.
I'm not a master of faith. I still struggle against my flesh and against the beliefs I've held my entire life that God won't give us whatever we ask for. But I do know this now: faith is synonomous with trust, and trust with abiding. So let us abide in Christ, not hesitantly, fearing what may happen, but with all faith that He will bring us into His rest, which is the life under full control of the Holy Spirit, free from worry and doubt.
"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God."
~Hebrews 11:8-10
Let us submit to God, though we do not know where He means to lead us, following Him to faith, that He may make us into a city not of our own make, which will be the result of unbelief, but a city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.
~sojourner
Monday, February 12, 2007
why I love Blindside
They used to be my favorite band. I've been drawn back to them lately. They may become my favorite again.
This is why:
I think I've stayed for the last time
Goodbye
Hope is so much closer to beauty than sorrow
I think I'll leave and leave self pity to die
Reflection is always brighter than shadow
Please come closer
Cause I don't even touch You anymore
Please see I'm walking in to the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
Love is in the air tonight
So just breathe
You made sure the atmosphere was thick tonight
So this is where it begins and where it ends
With a crack in a dark sky piercing light
Please come closer
Cause my heart doesn't touch Yours anymore
Please see I'm walking into the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
Love is in the air tonight so just breathe
Breathe my spirit breathe
Leave, leave now and don't look back
Please come closer
Cause my heart doesn't touch Yours anymore
Please see I'm walking into the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
~"Eye of the Storm"
I could not lie
Skin untouched growing thicker for every step unwalked
And I don't know if it's the cold intention-slide
Taking me down
But what if You'd sing me alive
I'm ready to give up the fight
Cause I'm just a stone
Right after You're gone
I could not lie
Even though dead skin like stone makes me ugly
It still pounds inside and it's red
And it's slipping through the grey cracks
And I know You know
But what if You'd sing me alive
I'm ready to give up the fight
Cause I'm just a stone
Right after You're gone
The first thing that meets the eye
When I crossover into the light
I want it to be You
Right after I'm gone
~"After You're Gone"
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
It hurts
That drops of fire would fall so precise
And how everything else would lose its meaning
What a beautiful
What a painful surprise
There is no peace outside if there is nothing within
It hurts
But like coming home
Once dried up
I guess this is what you get
When a heart expands
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
Love is destructive
For the ego
And Your voice is the only thing
That speaks rebelliously in this world of claiming
your own
There is no peace outside if there's nothing within
Love is addictive
For the spirit
And Your voice whispers with a roar
That fire rises up, refills
Place the right king on the throne
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
I thought about a burning fire
I thought about a loving fire
I thought about Your love
~"About a Burning Fire"
"Oh how I long in inhale Your breath"
~sojourner
This is why:
I think I've stayed for the last time
Goodbye
Hope is so much closer to beauty than sorrow
I think I'll leave and leave self pity to die
Reflection is always brighter than shadow
Please come closer
Cause I don't even touch You anymore
Please see I'm walking in to the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
Love is in the air tonight
So just breathe
You made sure the atmosphere was thick tonight
So this is where it begins and where it ends
With a crack in a dark sky piercing light
Please come closer
Cause my heart doesn't touch Yours anymore
Please see I'm walking into the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
Love is in the air tonight so just breathe
Breathe my spirit breathe
Leave, leave now and don't look back
Please come closer
Cause my heart doesn't touch Yours anymore
Please see I'm walking into the eye of the storm
And I'll still come out loving You even more
~"Eye of the Storm"
I could not lie
Skin untouched growing thicker for every step unwalked
And I don't know if it's the cold intention-slide
Taking me down
But what if You'd sing me alive
I'm ready to give up the fight
Cause I'm just a stone
Right after You're gone
I could not lie
Even though dead skin like stone makes me ugly
It still pounds inside and it's red
And it's slipping through the grey cracks
And I know You know
But what if You'd sing me alive
I'm ready to give up the fight
Cause I'm just a stone
Right after You're gone
The first thing that meets the eye
When I crossover into the light
I want it to be You
Right after I'm gone
~"After You're Gone"
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
It hurts
That drops of fire would fall so precise
And how everything else would lose its meaning
What a beautiful
What a painful surprise
There is no peace outside if there is nothing within
It hurts
But like coming home
Once dried up
I guess this is what you get
When a heart expands
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
Love is destructive
For the ego
And Your voice is the only thing
That speaks rebelliously in this world of claiming
your own
There is no peace outside if there's nothing within
Love is addictive
For the spirit
And Your voice whispers with a roar
That fire rises up, refills
Place the right king on the throne
I thought about fire in the sky
I thought about fire
I thought about love burning in your eye
I thought about fire
I thought about a burning fire
I thought about a loving fire
I thought about Your love
~"About a Burning Fire"
"Oh how I long in inhale Your breath"
~sojourner
Sunday, February 11, 2007
failedlover or rebirthingagain
I am a lover. I am a shame.
I am appalled by what I fame.
I am a lover, but I've had my share of
flirting with the darkest affairs.
You can find me here with my head against the wall
lost in my regrets and every time I fall
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
I have a lover, faithful and true
cares for me in all that I do.
I have a lover.
My song you have sung with love on
your lips and grace on your tongue.
You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall –
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
A promise from Heaven, a promise from you,
a promise to love, I will hold onto.
God of new beginnings, to you I cry,
"Teach me how to love. Teach me how to die."
In death there's forgiveness, and forgiveness calls on new life!
You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall –
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band...
~"Lover" by Nevertheless
I lie here paralytic
Inside this soul
Screaming for you till my throat is numb
I wanna break out
I need a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating
Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I've died
Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Rebirthing now
I Wanna live my life wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
I lie here lifeless
In this cocoon
Shedding my skin cause
I'm ready to
I wanna break out
I found a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating
Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when I'm gonna breathe you in
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'm gonna feel alive
Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when this fear will end
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'll feel alive
~"Rebirthing" by Skillet
Oh God, teach me to hate sin like you do, and not just because I want comfort. Make meuncomfortable in fighting sin. Save me from myself. Put the birthright on the front of mymind, and make me unsatisfied from here on out. Change me from the inside out.
I'm tired of mediocrity.
~Sojourner
I am appalled by what I fame.
I am a lover, but I've had my share of
flirting with the darkest affairs.
You can find me here with my head against the wall
lost in my regrets and every time I fall
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
I have a lover, faithful and true
cares for me in all that I do.
I have a lover.
My song you have sung with love on
your lips and grace on your tongue.
You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall –
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band.
A promise from Heaven, a promise from you,
a promise to love, I will hold onto.
God of new beginnings, to you I cry,
"Teach me how to love. Teach me how to die."
In death there's forgiveness, and forgiveness calls on new life!
You can find me here with my head against the wall,
lost in my regrets and every time I fall –
you catch me in your hands.
You circle me like a wedding band...
~"Lover" by Nevertheless
I lie here paralytic
Inside this soul
Screaming for you till my throat is numb
I wanna break out
I need a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating
Feel your presence filling up my lungs with oxygen
I take you in
I've died
Rebirthing now
I wanna live for love wanna live for you and me
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
Rebirthing now
I Wanna live my life wanna give you everything
Breathe for the first time now
I come alive somehow
I lie here lifeless
In this cocoon
Shedding my skin cause
I'm ready to
I wanna break out
I found a way out
I don't believe that it's gotta be this way
The worst is the waiting
In this womb I'm suffocating
Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when I'm gonna breathe you in
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'm gonna feel alive
Tell me when I'm gonna live again
Tell me when this fear will end
Tell me when I'm gonna feel inside
Tell me when I'll feel alive
~"Rebirthing" by Skillet
Oh God, teach me to hate sin like you do, and not just because I want comfort. Make meuncomfortable in fighting sin. Save me from myself. Put the birthright on the front of mymind, and make me unsatisfied from here on out. Change me from the inside out.
I'm tired of mediocrity.
~Sojourner
Saturday, February 3, 2007
sleepless nights and powerful mornings
Here I am now sitting up at a friend's house. The other two guys are fast asleep. I haven't slept at all, and I've been watching the sun come up. I'm cold, uncomfortably cold. I don't know if I've ever been happier.
"This is not about how I feel right now or if I'm thinking right or my mindset Father, this is about how amazing it is for You to be here with me right now."
How easily lately I lose focus. I put it on me and my efforts so often. I'm doing it right now. Father, save me from this body of death!!! How I long to be freed from my mind's weakness and be able to see God in every moment as I should.
You WILL save me, You WILL restore me, You WILL regerate me completely. God I believe, please help me believe. Trust is not a trademark of mine.
Here I am, loving the uncomfortable cold and the lack of sleep. I'm finding so much joy in this. It's freeing to know I'm not limited to my human comfort zones. To rejoice in cold and tiredness is wonderful, because I know that only through this will God make me into something than I was before. It may be nothing really bad now, but I can use all as a chance for worship. There is something to learn in every uncomfortable circumstance.
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was fillled with laughter,
and our tongues with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"the Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy;
bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalm 126
~sojourner
"This is not about how I feel right now or if I'm thinking right or my mindset Father, this is about how amazing it is for You to be here with me right now."
How easily lately I lose focus. I put it on me and my efforts so often. I'm doing it right now. Father, save me from this body of death!!! How I long to be freed from my mind's weakness and be able to see God in every moment as I should.
You WILL save me, You WILL restore me, You WILL regerate me completely. God I believe, please help me believe. Trust is not a trademark of mine.
Here I am, loving the uncomfortable cold and the lack of sleep. I'm finding so much joy in this. It's freeing to know I'm not limited to my human comfort zones. To rejoice in cold and tiredness is wonderful, because I know that only through this will God make me into something than I was before. It may be nothing really bad now, but I can use all as a chance for worship. There is something to learn in every uncomfortable circumstance.
When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was fillled with laughter,
and our tongues with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"the Lord has done great things for them."
The Lord has done great things for us;
we are glad.
Restore our fortunes, O Lord,
like streams in the Negeb!
Those who sow in tears
shall reap with shouts of joy!
He who goes out weeping,
bearing the seed for sowing,
shall come home with shouts of joy;
bringing his sheaves with him.
Psalm 126
~sojourner
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